There is an old wooden bench that sits in my back yard.
A LOT OF USE HAS COME OUT OF IT. IN FACT, IT used to be quite charming. It’s rotted now and the best use for it would be in a dump. It seems like just yesterday I was sitting on it, alongside someone. Now, it’s falling apart board by board.
If only I had a truck to haul it off, or better yet, if only I had a man in my life to rid it of its misery. But, I don’t.
Truth is, there are many things around my house that could use repairing or tweaking. Many of which I’m not strong enough to tackle alone.
I certainly won’t sugarcoat it. It’s not always easy, but it’s always been worth it.
Most times, life is so busy that I forget about what’s being neglected. I rush by the broken porch, the swing set that’s falling apart, and the old bench that’s caving in. But, when I’m stilled, all of the broken things begin to come into focus. The reality of my singleness seems to be magnified. It makes me long for a husband. Not just to fix things around the house, but for the companionship — someone to tell my innermost secrets to, and to sit on the bench with me. Of course, if he wants, he can haul off the junk too.
There’s a deep desire in my heart — a desire that doesn’t seem to go away.
During this season of singleness, my relationship with the Lord has grown by leaps and bounds. He’s used this time to grow and mature me. Psalm 119:71 (NIV) says, “It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn Your decrees.” For that reason alone, I wouldn’t trade my lonely nights or tear stained pillows.
I certainly won’t sugarcoat it. It’s not always easy, but it’s always been worth it. I know He wants good things for both my family and me. I know God has purpose for this season of waiting. He isn’t holding back the very thing I desire most because it’s fun for Him, He’s doing it because He loves me that much. He’s teaching me how to rely on Him for everything.
Singles hear over and over, “Quit looking and you’ll find it” or “God is still preparing you”. While this may be true, we still tire of hearing it. So, my point of writing this is to let whoever can relate know, you are not alone. The feelings you have are real and you’re not a lesser Christian by desiring companionship while you walk with the Lord. It’s okay to cry out to the Father.
We are fooling ourselves, though, if we think that a husband or wife can bring us every bit of happiness we feel is lacking in our aloneness. That’s a lot of pressure to put on someone,and, another person will never bring complete satisfaction. People will fail you. Sooner or later, that person who brings you flowers and makes your heart flutter will also be the one to hurt you or wrong you, not necessarily because they want to, but because they are human.
The Lord is our ultimate Companion. He wants to be the shoulders we lean on and the One we tell our secrets to. He is the only One who can heal our loneliness. And, in addition to that, He wants to haul off our junk; our past, our failures and our wounds. You can trust that God’s plans are bigger and better because “No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” (Psalm. 84:11 ESV)
So, the next time you’re looking for someone to sit on the bench beside you, remember this, He’s already there. •LR•
Dianna Owens is a blogger and full-time single mom to a nine year old son and a four year old daughter. She is a part of the Ignite 2 Ignite women’s ministry and you can find her blog at: DiannaOwens.com
To read Dianna’s followup to this article click here.