{Not So} Wonder Woman

Finding the Real Super Power

How many of you remember Wonder Woman? I don’t mean the Superhero of 2017, I mean the original Wonder Woman. She was strong, invincible, beautiful, and she could fly. What makes her my favorite, though, is how she could get into that teeny-tiny Wonder Woman outfit long before the invention of Spanx. Now that’s a super power.

Friends, full confession here: I am a full-time Spanx wearer.

It all began when I approached my fifties. I noticed an extra bulge around my waist. Many people refer to it as a muffin top, but mine was not a muffin-top at all. It was a full-blown cupcake with icing. One of my dearest friends informed me I could get a pair of Spanx from a local department store. So, one Saturday afternoon, I headed out on a mission. As I arrived at the store, I went straight to lingerie and asked the salesclerk where the Spanx were located. She politely pointed to the far corner. I quickly made my way over to that life-changing-miracle-working corner, only to discover little boxes about the size of a deck of cards. I thought, I must have taken a wrong turn and have landed in the greeting card section! But, after examining the small print on the small box, it said, “Spanx.” I first grabbed a pair in my size, small, but then grabbed an extra-large thinking it would probably fit much better.

I immediately went home to put on the miracle – the miracle that promised a sleeker, smoother, thinner silhouette. As I pulled the Spanx out of the box, I began to pray because it was going to take a miracle to slide that small rubber-band-looking-contraption over my hips. I stretched, gyrated, pulled and tugged until finally, I had the Spanx over my ankles.

I continued struggling for what felt like an hour and still only had the giant rubber band up to my kneecaps. Then, I heard the back door open announcing my daughter was home. She yelled, “What’s for dinner?”

“I haven’t decided,” I barked, “but could you look and see if we have any Crisco in the pantry?”

“No,” she yelled back, “but we have olive oil.”

“Bring it up here,” I responded, “and if there’s any left over, I’ll make a Greek Salad.”

My daughter ran upstairs with the olive oil. As soon as she saw the twisted configuration I was in, her belly laugh caused her to drop the oil smack on the floor. (Did you know that olive oil is difficult to get out of carpet?) It soothed my legs, and there was enough left over for a Greek Salad.

Have you ever considered yourself a Wonder Woman or Superman?

There was a time when I thought I could be a wonder woman of sorts. I didn’t think I could leap over tall buildings or fly, but my mind conjured up some unrealistic expectations which could be paralleled to leaping or flying. My “attempts to fly” resulted from the burden my childhood family placed on my shoulders alone, and my mind raced with thoughts like these:

For things to be done right, I have to do them myself.

I always have to do it all. I can control this.

I don’t need anyone. (The biggest lying leap of them all.)

Have any of these ever been your thoughts? Now do you understand my Wonder Woman mentality? Perhaps you, too, have attempted to leap tall problems alone, only to land knee deep in olive oil.

Friends, we have not been called to be Wonder Woman or a Super Hero. The Bible clearly teaches that without Christ we can do nothing.

With Christ, we can do all things in His strength (Philippians 4:13). That’s what I call real super power.

In the future, when you put on your cape and attempt to fly, or when your mind leaps into control mode, or when you try to accomplish things alone, remember it’s not your job. Pick up your Bible and call out to Jesus. Then, you will soar.

Now, I need to breathe. “Somebody help! I’m stuck!”


Cherie Nettles is a Christian comedienne, author and speaker. She is a mother of two and lives in West Columbia, S.C. with her husband, Mike. Blog: CherieNettles.net

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